Tag Archives: words

Running In Place // (About A ‘Disclosure’)

I have never really been the one to learn the hard way, and it’s not because I refuse to take risks.

No.

This is not about being bold, it’s about sheer blindness.

I wrote this awhile back…

What if I tell you that I don’t have any plans; that I only intend to work hard?

 

Will I still make it then?

I wrote this under the complete notion that if I work hard enough I would be able to attain anything– glory and success. I thought that it didn’t matter what I did as long as I put my heart and soul into it. After all, it is contemporary belief that hard work is the main catalyst to every success story. I was led to believe that what counts the most is your work ethic.  And all of these are true.

But the answer is NO.

The lack of goal setting have only rendered me utterly depleted. It’s like running for miles on a treadmill- not going anywhere. All the time and effort I had invested were almost all for nothing. It seems as if the idea of indirection proved to be more fatal than the act of misdirection. And I have only myself to blame.

Make plans and determine your goals. It’s the only way to make hard work count.

SOTM: Bourgeois by Phoenix

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Published

I’ve written countless words in my young lifetime. And sometimes I wonder if it all mattered. I mean if a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

I can’t begin to answer such a heavy question. But I believe all this behind-the-scene writing have helped me improve my skill with words. Scribbling behind the shadows, in this quiet side of the Internet, have rendered my backbone enough boldness to stand and knock at the world’s door.

And the world opened its door on me, even just for a brief moment. It gave me a quick glimpse, enough to validate my existence as a writer. It gave me a quick glance what of I could be in this industry. But more so, it made me realize my flaws and uncharacteristic literary habits. It showed me the long road ahead.

I was published.

I was beyond elated. And if I never write a single word again, I can look back and still claim that I was a writer. But I’d like to think that I’ve been this, without any need of publication- I am a writer.

Even if this little accomplishment was made possible by a local community newspaper. This is a start, and I’m on my way now. And even when it gets rough along the way, I will remember that it’s the process that is most fun. The destination is merely a consolation, but I’m aiming for the clouds still.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Brighter Side / Twilight by Ben Howard

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All that I have been doing in my life has lead me to this…

I am an artist.

I can make things. And that’s quite powerful in its own regard.

I used to think that I was just an aspiring writer, I had the simple ability to piece together words to derive meaning. I thought I was just a casual photographer that loved urban cityscape and subtle portraits. I never heard the power of my own spoken word, the influence it holds in a single breath.

Then I came to the realization that…

I am an artist.

I choose my words meticulously, like I choose my friends; I use metaphors and methods to extend the meaning of my musings. I write with sheer purpose and passion like it’s a calling. And my words slash and heal, even though I’m in practice of wielding it.

I have keen eye for design. I see structure and symmetry. My pictures are beyond pre-meal snapshots and shameless selfies. I am not bound by the the frame of the viewfinder, instead I break the rules to enhance images. Instagram has become more than just a gallery of everyday pictures but a reflection myself and my city.

I have started to learn the power of my voice and the power of it. I speak my words with flow and rhythm; emphasis and sheer confidence; control and clarity. My voice asks the critical questions and addresses the details. And I hear it even if you don’t.

I know I have lot more to go through in this artistic journey. But it all starts with this realization.

I am an artist.

SOTM: Never Let You Down by Kanye West feat. Jay Z and J. Ivy

 

Artist

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2 Years

Been a while. But I’ve always been here.

This blog has been nonexistent for a while.

No words. No sentences. No paragraphs. No narration. No dialogue. No gestures. No details.

But all the while I’ve been learning about each element. I have been collecting stories and realizations. I have been working on myself, as a writer, artist and friend. All this time, I have been here, behind the screen.All this time I have been committed to this humble blog, as I am committed to my words.

I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to share to the Internet what I’ve been through. And perhaps, now is the most opportune time.

But for now, I will bask in my little achievement of reaching the 2 year mark.

And for those of you who have read my midnight musings in this silent side of the Internet- thank you. I got nothing but love for all of you.

SOTM: Without by Sampha

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A Disclosure

What if I tell you that I don’t have any plans; that I only intend to work hard?

 

Will I still make it then?

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Too Much by Drake feat. Sampha

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A Case Of Post-Euphoric Writing Syndrome

Summer is a great time for many things: running around, basking in the sun, eating out, sleeping late, catching up on some reading. But never writing.

As a young writer, I’ve always felt that writing comes natural to me in mundane moments of slight melancholy. I don’t mean to be morbid. But writing in a pensive mood allows me to focus on life with greater clarity, and it is not the case that I only perceive sad realities. In fact, I am able to recollect a major extent of my happiness and make sense of it.

It’s in the banal state of mind that I find the right words.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine last summer about how it’s like to write, and we shared the same sentiments about writing while happy. We both concluded on the latter.

Don’t write in the middle of all the happiness.

Happiness is distracting, and that’s not a bad thing at all! The point is to completely immerse yourself in the distraction. When you are happy, stay with it until it decides to fly away. It’s better to write about happiness than be absent in its presence. All those words can wait, but happiness is a rather impetuous fellow. Go out with your friends. Play video games. Sweat a little. Eat a lot and drink a few. Be happy until you’re not anymore. It’s perfectly fine if you don’t remember most of it, what is important is that you were.

That’s why I am lacking blog posts this summer, I was happy.

But now is the time to write again.

🙂

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Icarus by Bastille

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“No Sleep for the Non-Roman”

I lay awake at night, sometimes. Thinking to myself, questions and answers about life and the world I live in; the people that I encounter; time and moments instilled in my memory. I’d like to think I’m profound, but maybe I’m distressed..

Yes. No.

I don’t know.

Certainly, there other things to live for, other aspects of this vast universe worthy of thought. But I’m utterly stumped with this idea that my tiny existence in this massive Earth will cause me to live a life unfulfilled. Unfulfilled because this grand world is too big for my most humble entity to consume. Yet, it’s so easy for reality to eat me up alive.

I believe in God, Jesus. And from what He says, I am not a part of this world. Therefore I should not succumb myself to this land, but to the heavens above. Cliche as it seems, this is a daunting task. To live in Rome but not as a Roman. How can a man live his life and act dead to it?

I’m haunted by this thought that the same immense God is shrinking the world I breathe in. And, I’m in the midst of suffocating like, He doesn’t want me to inhale the air of this abyss until I find myself out of breath, dead. Dead to this world. Is this why he created my essence so miniature compared to the size of this world? Just to show me that I am not capable of experiencing the entirety of this human realm; that I will be quickly exhausted before I even come close to tasting a hint of this Earth?

Damn.

I wait for the night that I will finally sleep at ease and these thoughts will be alas, laid to rest. Because, my mind is tired and my heart is heavy. This double-standard life is thoroughly depleting.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Covet by Beautiful Eulogy

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The Beginning

I got a dream, man.

I have a desire to become ‘somebody‘. A person that is molded by knowledge and experience; one that came from scratch like a diamond in the rough, an individual forged by the work ethic and determination. I want to be that kid that came a long way with a humble start; living in his aunt’s basement writing midnight musings about life and, dreams.

I want to be a master of words. Skillfully literal with a sharp tongue but a sharper mind, wielding criticism with compassion like the careful cutting of a scalpel; allowed to kill but able to give life. I want to be sweet and fluent, authentic and true. I want to tame my mouth  like a lion on a leash; mind-control the beast when it wants to devour. I want to be a master of words.

It’s simple a concept. But the process is long and tedious.

And.

It.

Starts.

Now.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Excellent by Propaganda

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Invisible Bicycle

Ever since university started I have been learning how to ride a bicycle. Falling down. Getting up. Slow and steady.

Balanced.

I haven’t had much time to spare some words in this rusty old blog. (It’s a 100 posts old!) It’s either all over my academia or lacking sleep. And it’s been quite difficult for me to recollect and put into literature whatever I have come across to, may it be a new experience or emotion. But whatever.

Every written word is a garden. It starts as a seed, and it blossoms its way through time. As a writer, I can’t manipulate the growth of my words. I can only wait for it. But when it reaches it’s point of ripeness and I don’t harvest it, it will rot. And for a writer, such is the struggle. It’s all about the timing.

My thoughts remained preserved even during my absence. But then again, I do not know for how long. So I will write until my mind is exhausted and my fingers are numb. Because as person who talks to a virtual wind, I have been silent for quite too long.

I have gathered different stories and silly little theories; found enlightenment in the lonely gutters of introspect. I have experienced moments of happiness but is constantly eluded by joy. And I can’t wait to take it all out of me again.

Make me.

Transparent.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Real Talk by Bloc Party

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See What They Say: Catcher In The Rye

Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.

Game my ass.

-Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes

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