I guess I could say that my recent preference not to write has been all but deliberate. But since there is no point in fiddling with the matter. Then I suppose I should just come out straight with it..
I feel a tad bit sad. 😦
My parent’s prior phone call a few days back have made it certain that I feel so. As they inquire about my daily endeavors and regular food intake, they somehow felt the need to ask for an evaluation of my social relationships. I was stumped. All I could reply was incomprehensible murmurs of continuous “ummm”. And so it dawned on me..
1.) I currently have no friends.
Sure, I have acquainted myself with a number of high-five friends which by all means, have been good people. Also, I’ve spent a relative amount of time with them and I found it worthwhile. But I just can’t seem to find the right bunch (or a fit person for that matter) to be considered a real friend.
Should I choose my friends or not?
This is certainly a controversial matter that is open to intellectual debate. But in hopes of saving myself the burden of over-thinking on such issue. I shall let the universe decide it for me. And whether or not it is the universe’s occupation to fulfill the duty, I for sure, would not trouble myself with it.
Given in my current predicament is the sheer nostalgia of what life used to be. The times of clear joy and content without challenge from distance nor time. When the only thing that separated me from my family were concrete walls and not serious mileage. Where my friends have all been figured out and their company is always on the clock.
2.) I miss home.
I’ve been trying to get accustomed to this (still) foreign land ever since I’ve stepped foot on it’s snowy grounds. But it’s just hard to call it home when the bare necessities of what constitutes to a home are not present. Don’t get me wrong, Winnipeg is a lovely place, just not a home for me yet.
Lastly, of all the godforsaken misfortunes and mischances. Why do I have to be the victim of inadvertent deprivation of tickets to one of today’s most excellent musical entertainers. I put to question my Asian qualities for a complete disregard to punctuality because I’m finding this particular stereotype to be true.
3.) Tickets to Bombay Bicycle Club and Lucy Rose were sold out.
I am indeed baffled by the fact that their music is considered ‘Indie’ yet people are well informed to an extent of passes becoming sold out. I know that ‘Indie’ is but a mere genre but I’ll be damned for not anticipating such crowd. And oh, I still feel like horse feces about it.
I guess that concludes my current dilemma. If any good has come out of this. It is that I’ve finally exhaled all the heavy air that have rendered my chest strained. And as tomorrow makes its way, I..
SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Young Blood by Birdy