Tag Archives: love

Published

I’ve written countless words in my young lifetime. And sometimes I wonder if it all mattered. I mean if a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

I can’t begin to answer such a heavy question. But I believe all this behind-the-scene writing have helped me improve my skill with words. Scribbling behind the shadows, in this quiet side of the Internet, have rendered my backbone enough boldness to stand and knock at the world’s door.

And the world opened its door on me, even just for a brief moment. It gave me a quick glimpse, enough to validate my existence as a writer. It gave me a quick glance what of I could be in this industry. But more so, it made me realize my flaws and uncharacteristic literary habits. It showed me the long road ahead.

I was published.

I was beyond elated. And if I never write a single word again, I can look back and still claim that I was a writer. But I’d like to think that I’ve been this, without any need of publication- I am a writer.

Even if this little accomplishment was made possible by a local community newspaper. This is a start, and I’m on my way now. And even when it gets rough along the way, I will remember that it’s the process that is most fun. The destination is merely a consolation, but I’m aiming for the clouds still.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Brighter Side / Twilight by Ben Howard

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All that I have been doing in my life has lead me to this…

I am an artist.

I can make things. And that’s quite powerful in its own regard.

I used to think that I was just an aspiring writer, I had the simple ability to piece together words to derive meaning. I thought I was just a casual photographer that loved urban cityscape and subtle portraits. I never heard the power of my own spoken word, the influence it holds in a single breath.

Then I came to the realization that…

I am an artist.

I choose my words meticulously, like I choose my friends; I use metaphors and methods to extend the meaning of my musings. I write with sheer purpose and passion like it’s a calling. And my words slash and heal, even though I’m in practice of wielding it.

I have keen eye for design. I see structure and symmetry. My pictures are beyond pre-meal snapshots and shameless selfies. I am not bound by the the frame of the viewfinder, instead I break the rules to enhance images. Instagram has become more than just a gallery of everyday pictures but a reflection myself and my city.

I have started to learn the power of my voice and the power of it. I speak my words with flow and rhythm; emphasis and sheer confidence; control and clarity. My voice asks the critical questions and addresses the details. And I hear it even if you don’t.

I know I have lot more to go through in this artistic journey. But it all starts with this realization.

I am an artist.

SOTM: Never Let You Down by Kanye West feat. Jay Z and J. Ivy

 

Artist

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2 Years

Been a while. But I’ve always been here.

This blog has been nonexistent for a while.

No words. No sentences. No paragraphs. No narration. No dialogue. No gestures. No details.

But all the while I’ve been learning about each element. I have been collecting stories and realizations. I have been working on myself, as a writer, artist and friend. All this time, I have been here, behind the screen.All this time I have been committed to this humble blog, as I am committed to my words.

I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to share to the Internet what I’ve been through. And perhaps, now is the most opportune time.

But for now, I will bask in my little achievement of reaching the 2 year mark.

And for those of you who have read my midnight musings in this silent side of the Internet- thank you. I got nothing but love for all of you.

SOTM: Without by Sampha

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Chemistry: Z

I wrote this a little over a year ago.

https://dorksandjerks.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/x-and-y/

I love my friends to the moon and back. And last year, they both gave me a hard time because they were poles apart. They were a representation of two side. X and Y.

But this summer brought about a compound element between the two. And to this date I can’t determine which factor allowed to them cohabit without friction. I don’t know what changed. Maybe they finally saw what I’ve seen years ago, that they are both stark-raving-bonkers. Or maybe they realized that they share the same degree of madness.

Or that we are all in the same plateau in life.

Because really, we are all just trying to make sense out of everything. And it’s hard when you think about how alone you are in the struggle. Dubai is possessed by sheer sense of temporality. And that’s a hard burden to bear for kids. So in theory, I think the common denominator here is the underlying circumstance of being young and find one’s place in it.

But maybe there’s no real science behind it, and it all boils down to chemistry. Fumes and strong liquids. All I know, is and X and Y are in the same group now and I label them my best friends. I just wish I could’ve stuck around longer to see their reactions.

I miss them.

I miss chemistry.

Z.

SOTM: Sure Thing by Miguel

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‘The City In The Desert’

Dubai.

You are one great city. And believe me when I tell you that there is nothing like you.

You’re the city in the desert; the breeze in the summer. You built concrete out of sand, and made a home for me. You were honest enough to tell me that I can’t stay forever, that there is a world out there that is waiting for me.

You have introduced me to people that I would have never met elsewhere. And you let them go in front of my eyes to show me that you claimed no citizens only transients- nothing is permanent.

Then you let me go. And I loved you for it.

Thank you for everything. I will write about you until next time.2013-08-15 13.38.00

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Tidal Waves by Kenji

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“The Fault Of Being Young”

A boy and girl affair, this does not end well.

Youth is abundant with love and folly. Juvenile hearts are driven by strong emtotions that seem to override all boundaries of logic. Vernal desires are fueled by curiosity and adventure; a sense of boldness that require little to no thought. Young love is full of hope. It dreams and pursues. But reality is no child’s play.

A friend fell in love at a tender age. He met this girl during a trip across miles and seas. They bonded through many conversations online, spending late nights to compensate for differing timezones. Their emotions grew despite the distance and time, and soon, a relationship bloomed. They stuck it together for many months, even years. It wasn’t always ideal. And with the kind of long distance relationship, they knew being apart is a given.

And it was over…

They were persistent through it all. And finally the universe reckoned it was time for them to be together. He took a flight to be with her at last. For the first time they were able to conquer all the things that separated them. They danced and held hands; they kissed and whispered words to each other; they were a couple, an actual pair for once.

And then it was over..

They went back to their normal lives, but it wasn’t the same anymore. She missed him and he couldn’t be there for her. They tried to continue what they have been doing for so long. But life started to happen for her. She went out and he waited in worry. He took after a certain tone, and she didn’t have it. They spoke until no words are spoken.

And then it was over.

To realize in the end that they were young is wise, but rather too late. The inability to contemplate the many opportunities that lie ahead, various people to meet and places to see and be; all this could have saved both my friends from the troubles of the heart. They could have had it all, everything and each other. If only it wasn’t for the fault of being young.

Sigh.

***

PS: I envied you guys. I really did. I was rooting for you to go all the way, so you can prove to me that love pays no attention to distance and time. I’m sorry that it all had to end this way. I wish you both the best, whatever pursuit it is in life.

SOTM: Youth by Daughter

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Debts

Blessed.

I’m tremendously thankful for many things, from the simple to the finer means. Most of the time I find it wayward mental to think that I am where I stand. I don’t deserve anything.

And it’s not a matter exaggeration, it is an understatement.

Really, I do not work. My pleasures are funded by my parents; they put the food on the table, more than we can eat; they pay for my education so I would not worry about any future debt. On top of that, I have an uncle who spoils me like little kid. I don’t even have to ask, I just have to utter them. And I’m grateful beyond anything.

It’s hard to repay something that can’t be counted in currency.

Through it all, it’s about the clothes and the shoes they bought me. It’s not about where I had lunch or what movie I saw at the expense of their pockets. They don’t keep tabs of fiscal value. They expect no payment. Although acts of gratitude can be a start.

I’m afraid I’m not grateful enough. I lack the action to give back the charity I am given. But it is not to say, I am completely ungrateful. I appreciate my blessings like a child to its mum. It’s only because I stop to “thank you”, like these words are enough to show all gratitude. And I am wrong.

I owe these people a debt, I cannot begin to pay. But it never hurts to try.

And to the Man who bought me at the price of his own life, I owe a greater deal. Although I forget that your grace is costly, I will never forget that all has been paid. Blessings and struggles are from you, all the same. But I will be thankful and write about it

.

SOTM: Loud Noises by Yuna

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“No Sleep for the Non-Roman”

I lay awake at night, sometimes. Thinking to myself, questions and answers about life and the world I live in; the people that I encounter; time and moments instilled in my memory. I’d like to think I’m profound, but maybe I’m distressed..

Yes. No.

I don’t know.

Certainly, there other things to live for, other aspects of this vast universe worthy of thought. But I’m utterly stumped with this idea that my tiny existence in this massive Earth will cause me to live a life unfulfilled. Unfulfilled because this grand world is too big for my most humble entity to consume. Yet, it’s so easy for reality to eat me up alive.

I believe in God, Jesus. And from what He says, I am not a part of this world. Therefore I should not succumb myself to this land, but to the heavens above. Cliche as it seems, this is a daunting task. To live in Rome but not as a Roman. How can a man live his life and act dead to it?

I’m haunted by this thought that the same immense God is shrinking the world I breathe in. And, I’m in the midst of suffocating like, He doesn’t want me to inhale the air of this abyss until I find myself out of breath, dead. Dead to this world. Is this why he created my essence so miniature compared to the size of this world? Just to show me that I am not capable of experiencing the entirety of this human realm; that I will be quickly exhausted before I even come close to tasting a hint of this Earth?

Damn.

I wait for the night that I will finally sleep at ease and these thoughts will be alas, laid to rest. Because, my mind is tired and my heart is heavy. This double-standard life is thoroughly depleting.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Covet by Beautiful Eulogy

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A Sunny Evaluation Pt. 3

I’m tip-toes away from an inevitable end to summer, but it’s been glorious every step of the way. As always, a mighty finale is without a grand exit. And that’s why the last sunny stretch of my holidays have been most awesome, because it’s always the final impression that sticks out maybe even more than the first one.

Highlights and credits, rolling in. Now.

  • Rooftops are made for friends“. Hung out at my friend’s rooftop overlooking the surreal sunset of Dubai. It was moment of sentiment. Friends, sundown and photographs- it’s cliche. (Shout out to fellow blogger, Renee! Keep on writing.)
  • Walkouts and waterworks. When my dad (Happy belated birthday, Pa!) said “You’ll be leaving soon..”. Thoughts came down like a waterfall; current so strong, can’t even swim out of it. And in a room full of people, my eyes started to water. Damn. So I stormed out before it rained.
  • Three days‘. My last three days in Dubai, my folks took me out every single night. Eating, shopping, loving. It was the highest (and longest) level of fun I’ve had all through out my stay. And knowing that I’ll be making my exit soon made me appreciate every single second of it.
  • Sendoff. Saturation point of happiness. Utter sadness.
  • Touchdown Toronto. Ten days worth of fun distraction. Toronto is a thoroughly immense experience. Big city, bigger people. Daylight busy bodies; nights that walk on its own. Diverse. Downtown buzzing with different people; passing each other, going every direction and up.
  • Reunions. I met up with my good triad of friends at Toronto after 5 long lifetimes. They took me in and around the city which was super sublime. Had plenty of time to catch up and know who they are now. It’s funny how people grow. I had such a grand time.
  • Friendly ‘Nosebleed‘. Had the opportunity to meet some neat people down at Ontario. A wicked bunch who knows how to make a complete riot. Actualizing awkward atmospheres with ample absurdity to ridiculous Filipino accents. Major laughing fits.
  • Winnipeg welcoming. Landed back on Peg City to be received by three nutty naughty boys along with my Aunt. It felt weird to be back- back in my room, back in this timezone, back to work. Damn. But there’s still a tad bit of summer left in Winnipeg, so I’m chasing until it’s gone.
  • ‘One with the univers-ity’. All set for this year’s academic endeavor. Bring it, man. Full load and everything, I’ll be scratching my head, biting my nails until I get you.
  • Continuum. I made post-summer plans. And I’m excited!

So this is the last of  ‘A Sunny Evaluation’. Stay tune though, and see if I managed to accomplish any of my summer goals. (This should be interesting..) But for now, these are things that came to occur during the last leg of summer. It’s been, without a hint of doubt, an amazing one.

🙂

I know I’ve been away or quite sometime. It’s been hard to write for a while and I figured I needed a breather; lighten the baggage I’m carrying and wait until my being can already muster enough words. But more importantly, I’m back.

Back.

Regular blogging. Here. We. Go.

A Sunny Evaluation Pt.2

PS- Hello, Twitter world aliens! I write sometimes.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Roll For The Sun Part 2 by Courts

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Red Ribbon

There’s a girl with short hair. Shorter than an average girl’s crown; trimmed to an utter masculine appearance. She isn’t a rebel disapproving society and all it feminine biases. All she was, is a girl.

A girl with long silky hair; highlights of red streaming through her fibers. Her hair was youth itself, one adorned by a young lady. A red bow that laced a beautiful face like a gift tied with a ribbon.

But she was unwrapped.

Because boys like toys they can play with. Blind kids open presents which are not meant for them. This not a case of childish thievery but more, for hearts are mangled by boys with roughest hands but most deceitful minds. So when a shrewd little liar took form of a ruthless boy. The girl loved like gullible under the puppetry of his words.

Emotions flared, everything burned.

When her mother had found out of what happened to her precious daughter. She saw scars similar to hers. A bitter and broken older-self took over and hard discipline came down. Hard to imagine, but all in motive of love.

They chopped her hair. Every strand decapitated with sheer contempt. The scissors clipped the crest that validated the young woman and they ripped that ribbon that sat on her head until all she had to show for was her shameful face. As she look upon her fallen locks, she bawled at the foolishness of the girl who once wore that crown.

But there comes a day for every damsel in distress. Fortunately, her’s came sooner.

And so that girl with the short hair. Yeah, she’s alright now. Under repair but she’s getting there. Maybe next time I sit next to her, I’d ask her about the hair. In which she’d wittily reply, “It’s a summer thing.”

🙂

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Wait by Lecrae

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