Tag Archives: family

For Family…

My family is here now.

From Dubai to Winnipeg.

For over a year and a half of living away from them, I have learned a lot of things about myself. I realized how it could get so tough without them being near. But now they’re here with me and I’m elated.

I know that we would have to start from the ground up again. And I know there will be times when we would miss Dubai. I know that there will be moments in which we would compare the life we used to live. The struggle is real, now that they are here. But as long as we’re together, I have faith that we will come through in this city.

And if there was ever a time, I felt a great degree of responsibility and challenge, It’s right now that they’re here. I am motivated to to work hard and pick up my own weight. I’m daring myself to learn how walk on my own two feet. Not because I want to show them that I can do my own thing, but because I want help ease the burden.

When they said it was on me to bring them back to the desert. I smiled. Because that became one ultimate goal.

And I’m going do just that. No matter what.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Hold On We’re Going Home by Drake

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‘The City In The Desert’

Dubai.

You are one great city. And believe me when I tell you that there is nothing like you.

You’re the city in the desert; the breeze in the summer. You built concrete out of sand, and made a home for me. You were honest enough to tell me that I can’t stay forever, that there is a world out there that is waiting for me.

You have introduced me to people that I would have never met elsewhere. And you let them go in front of my eyes to show me that you claimed no citizens only transients- nothing is permanent.

Then you let me go. And I loved you for it.

Thank you for everything. I will write about you until next time.2013-08-15 13.38.00

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Tidal Waves by Kenji

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Debts

Blessed.

I’m tremendously thankful for many things, from the simple to the finer means. Most of the time I find it wayward mental to think that I am where I stand. I don’t deserve anything.

And it’s not a matter exaggeration, it is an understatement.

Really, I do not work. My pleasures are funded by my parents; they put the food on the table, more than we can eat; they pay for my education so I would not worry about any future debt. On top of that, I have an uncle who spoils me like little kid. I don’t even have to ask, I just have to utter them. And I’m grateful beyond anything.

It’s hard to repay something that can’t be counted in currency.

Through it all, it’s about the clothes and the shoes they bought me. It’s not about where I had lunch or what movie I saw at the expense of their pockets. They don’t keep tabs of fiscal value. They expect no payment. Although acts of gratitude can be a start.

I’m afraid I’m not grateful enough. I lack the action to give back the charity I am given. But it is not to say, I am completely ungrateful. I appreciate my blessings like a child to its mum. It’s only because I stop to “thank you”, like these words are enough to show all gratitude. And I am wrong.

I owe these people a debt, I cannot begin to pay. But it never hurts to try.

And to the Man who bought me at the price of his own life, I owe a greater deal. Although I forget that your grace is costly, I will never forget that all has been paid. Blessings and struggles are from you, all the same. But I will be thankful and write about it

.

SOTM: Loud Noises by Yuna

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Perks Of A Stranger

Sometimes, I think it’s better if you don’t know me..

You see, there is a certain danger to familiarity. Once the veil is lifted, there is only you. Vulnerable.

Easy to figure out. Susceptible to request. Likely to pardon.

“Put your best foot forward”. So they say. People like to put on their best faces, when they meet others for the first time. I do too. But what I’ve come to notice as they start to know you, is they start to loosen up. And soon, when you’re ready, they start to wear their own skin. Naked.

And when you see them as they are, the rough edges of their personalities unveiled; unashamed anymore of who they are. All of this, you have to accept but without any consent. All the things that you don’t know and don’t want to know about them are all suddenly on the table..

But strangers, they are safe. The cloud of mystery in which the hide behind protects them from the monster underneath the skin of a person. The feeling of the unknown makes people careful of what they say or do, aware of how they act; a sense of intimidation that comes with unfamiliarity which compels respect.

And in return, they are easy to forgive. They are uncomplicated and easy to get along with. They don’t bring their problems and issues. And neither do you. No one cares too much.

“No strings attached”.

Strangers see good people. Strangers know no good people.

So maybe, you shouldn’t know me.

Maybe..

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Pieces by Mat Simons

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The Release

 

I’m gonna write.

Because I woke up in the middle of night, wearing skinny jeans. And I thought to myself, that life is good.

But damn, I don’t deserve it.

During my absence, a lot of things have happened. Happened too fast, happened all together. It was hard to write, because I felt like I lost myself. I was everywhere and nowhere. Although it seems like a lame attempt to justify my lack of effort on this blog, it’s been really difficult to write. It’s been a really difficult time.

But now, I’m free. And it’s a good night to release these lingering thoughts.

***

University is the worst roller coaster ride. Damn. I came in this school year with prime optimism and for the life of me, I do not know where it’s gone in the the middle of it all. My academic pursuit for the semester has been awry. More like average. And I hate it with every ounce of my braincells. Average is not my potential, and I refuse to be ‘just’ okay. I want to excel, and I want it so bad. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

I learned that I can write, but I can’t write great. And that hurts me for some reason. Not because I thought I was great, but because I’m struggling. I’m actually learning how to write, like a baby learning how to talk. It’s funny because I thought I was somehow beyond adequate. Damn.

Amidst the slight academic turmoil, I’m thankful that I survived. I mean, it might not be much but making it through the first semester with some sense of sanity left must count for something. I like that I didn’t give up when I thought it’s near hopeless. Being able to push when things are rough makes me feel a little better about myself. I just hope, I come through next semester.

***

I miss my family a lot. Especially, this holiday season. It’s a family affair after all. Although being away from them made me grow in some ways, I can’t wait until I can live under the same roof with them again.

Christmas is always tough being at a distance from your loved ones, but it sure does help when they send you to a holiday trip. But then again, it’s all about family at this time of year so it’s hard not to be a bit glum.

I’m happy though, that I’m able to spend the holidays going about Las Vegas and California. The amount of fun I’ve had so far is ridiculous. Not to mention, the New year’s eve I’ll be spending at Disneyland!

***

I’m beyond blessed. And I don’t deserve it.

But I’ll write about it.

Every single time.

🙂

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A Sunny Evaluation Pt. 3

I’m tip-toes away from an inevitable end to summer, but it’s been glorious every step of the way. As always, a mighty finale is without a grand exit. And that’s why the last sunny stretch of my holidays have been most awesome, because it’s always the final impression that sticks out maybe even more than the first one.

Highlights and credits, rolling in. Now.

  • Rooftops are made for friends“. Hung out at my friend’s rooftop overlooking the surreal sunset of Dubai. It was moment of sentiment. Friends, sundown and photographs- it’s cliche. (Shout out to fellow blogger, Renee! Keep on writing.)
  • Walkouts and waterworks. When my dad (Happy belated birthday, Pa!) said “You’ll be leaving soon..”. Thoughts came down like a waterfall; current so strong, can’t even swim out of it. And in a room full of people, my eyes started to water. Damn. So I stormed out before it rained.
  • Three days‘. My last three days in Dubai, my folks took me out every single night. Eating, shopping, loving. It was the highest (and longest) level of fun I’ve had all through out my stay. And knowing that I’ll be making my exit soon made me appreciate every single second of it.
  • Sendoff. Saturation point of happiness. Utter sadness.
  • Touchdown Toronto. Ten days worth of fun distraction. Toronto is a thoroughly immense experience. Big city, bigger people. Daylight busy bodies; nights that walk on its own. Diverse. Downtown buzzing with different people; passing each other, going every direction and up.
  • Reunions. I met up with my good triad of friends at Toronto after 5 long lifetimes. They took me in and around the city which was super sublime. Had plenty of time to catch up and know who they are now. It’s funny how people grow. I had such a grand time.
  • Friendly ‘Nosebleed‘. Had the opportunity to meet some neat people down at Ontario. A wicked bunch who knows how to make a complete riot. Actualizing awkward atmospheres with ample absurdity to ridiculous Filipino accents. Major laughing fits.
  • Winnipeg welcoming. Landed back on Peg City to be received by three nutty naughty boys along with my Aunt. It felt weird to be back- back in my room, back in this timezone, back to work. Damn. But there’s still a tad bit of summer left in Winnipeg, so I’m chasing until it’s gone.
  • ‘One with the univers-ity’. All set for this year’s academic endeavor. Bring it, man. Full load and everything, I’ll be scratching my head, biting my nails until I get you.
  • Continuum. I made post-summer plans. And I’m excited!

So this is the last of  ‘A Sunny Evaluation’. Stay tune though, and see if I managed to accomplish any of my summer goals. (This should be interesting..) But for now, these are things that came to occur during the last leg of summer. It’s been, without a hint of doubt, an amazing one.

🙂

I know I’ve been away or quite sometime. It’s been hard to write for a while and I figured I needed a breather; lighten the baggage I’m carrying and wait until my being can already muster enough words. But more importantly, I’m back.

Back.

Regular blogging. Here. We. Go.

A Sunny Evaluation Pt.2

PS- Hello, Twitter world aliens! I write sometimes.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Roll For The Sun Part 2 by Courts

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A Sunny Evaluation Pt.1

It’s been a good month of vacationing. Hanging out, eating, loitering, not writing.. It’s all swell and good. But not really the optimum productivity level I was hoping for. It’s that goddam ‘Summer Paradox’ I tell you!

Although my first month has been a good time to catch up with my folks, I wasn’t really able to keep a lay-low after telling a handful of people about my arrival. I could just imagined if I announced it. But just to give you a early overview of my holidays. Here’s what’s been up:

  • La Familia is the same and will always stay the same. It was as if it was just yesterday when me and my folks picked up our last conversation. And if you think we’ve grown apart, you’d be damn wrong. Talking to these guys is like a discourse of sheer clarity.
  • Good eats! From home cooked meals to fancy joints. Not to mention a bucket of KFC. I’ve enjoyed loads of fine flavored foods this past month. And yes, I am eating rice on a daily basis.
  • No workout. Fat.
  • Dusty dribbles. They have a good bunch of ballers down at them sandy asphalt courts. Boys who’ve got a winning pedigree in their varsity background. I smell blood and competition. I’m so rusty though! Have to step my game up.
  • Spiritual comeback. My climb to the feet of the cross is nearing to its destination. I’ve had much clarity thanks to the people used by God as instruments. Almost there.
  • Money matters. I feel like I’ve shopped like a posh blonde for the lack of a better simile.
  • “Lettuce Ketchup”. I’ve had sometime to catch up with a few close people. And I have to say that I’m very much thankful that these people stayed the same in regards to our friendship. Quick to advise and alert to listen. If there is depth over distance, this should be it.
  • Schoolboy troubles. Thanks to my folks utter nagging to determine my academic pursuits. I’ve had much progress on choosing what major to take and what subjects to sign up for.
  • Tongue-tied Tagalog. Tagalog is the Filipino dialect. One that I’ve grown apart from and is currently re-learning. Not to mention sucking.

The list isn’t as elaborate. Coupled by a lacking on post entries, this is not a detailed summer rundown. I have to admit that I’ve been duped by that sunny phantom named ‘procrastination’. And so, I spent my days not writing.

But like a train that runs on steam. I’ve been thinking. And I’ll be soon to let out the smoke.

PS. I will have to print the lists I’ve written down prior my vacation. I’m gonna have to staple it on my forehead.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: I’ll Be Alright by Passion Pit

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Talks

Inevitable was the talk.

I love this fact about my folks: I can talk about virtually anything that I’ve been mulling over for a long time and they are able to process everything on the fly; making complete sense of whatever it is that baffles me.

They certainly are the ones that ground me down at the same time enables me to keep my eyes above. Though I’ve relied on them for quite a lot, I still feel the need to come to them for aid.

If it weren’t for these guys, I would’ve lost myself entirely during my stay on the liberal lands of the west.

And now that I’m back. The parents that once nurtured my faith are back on the grind. Repairs, repairs, repairs.

They were the chisels that sharpened me. And now again.

🙂

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Don’t You Worry by Lucy Rose

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Same Old, Same

There’s a peculiar feel about being home. Maybe because I know  that in some way I’m somehow a tad bit different and altogether slightly the same. And that it will inevitably change my perception of home. Still a genuine notion persists which makes home, well, home.

Upon arrival the following are simple practicalities which assured me of the fact that I am really home. Not because it’s completely unalike from my previous destination but because it’s how it really is.

  1. People. If you have ever been in an airport it’s no doubt that you are most likely to encounter a long busy queue. But whether it’s a primary attribute of an airport or a specific aspect of rumbling air stations, individuals cutting the line with sheer disregard for people stuck in a rowed dilemma is unforgivable. Local airport officials telling off boneheads; tending to people of status and blatantly ignoring minorities. Definitely smells like home cooking.
  2. Racy oversight. I was at passport control when this arab man behind the booth went like, ‘Yakhi, open you’re eyes..’, bloody hell. Are you serious? I could only manage a snicker of contempt. No regard for ethnic euphemisms of any sort, I can never think of anything more inconsiderate. What a considerable welcome greeting.
  3. Heat wave. Seriously, I’ve anticipated hateful warmth in regards to this desert climate. But, goodness. It’s so goddam hot. Like, I feel as if my skin is broiling under sun rays. Not a gentle breeze was subtle enough to blow by. And it’s only the month of May, imagine the coming days.
  4. Friends. The thing about leaving is the part when you come back. You’re never sure whether things have stayed the same between you and you’re friendships. And it varies from person to experiences. But there are a handful that stays the same. Don’t matter whether it’s a quarter, a half or a dot of a person, as long as you can recognize.
  5. Family. The ambiance of home certainly feels dodgy still, at the moment. But surely it should sink into me soon. I can already feel it animating in me.

I figured I might have to take my time in adjusting at home. Because right now, everything is still kind of weird. People, places, me. I do know one thing, that somehow behind all the sunny innuendos, everything feels right in place.

🙂

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Islands by The XX

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All Caps And Exclamat-ed

I’m done.

Alas.

I guess now is the right time to heave a sigh of relief. A good quarter of the year has passed and I’m still kicking (Not that I was planning to die or anything) It’s been quite a tough one but to tread past it with sheer will is something I commend myself for. And for that the universe owe me this time of the year:

SUMMER!!!

I’ve just about had it with windswept wintry walks and the frostbitten breeze that keeps cheating on spring. Let my impatience be satisfied by a place where summer is infinite and the breeze is a warm kiss. Because, I am coming back home.

DUBAI!!!

Let the glorious dog days start once I step foot on your hot sand. Give me my family and allow me to embrace them; live my old life like how it all used to be. Free my friends from the bondage of distance that kept us apart; relinquish us with good times filled with great experiences. Grace me with bright lights while it’s dead at night and lease your warmth in daylight. I can’t wait…

I won’t be back until early May. So I’m not going to get ahead of my summer until I touch down Dubai. That doesn’t mean I can’t get started with my blogging spree though. I’ll be using my spare time to catch up on stories I was too busy to blog about and post some pictures I was lazy to share.

I’ve got too many long nights for my insomnia to consume. Perfect.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Hey Ya (Cover) by Rita Ora

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