Tag Archives: Christmas

The Release

 

I’m gonna write.

Because I woke up in the middle of night, wearing skinny jeans. And I thought to myself, that life is good.

But damn, I don’t deserve it.

During my absence, a lot of things have happened. Happened too fast, happened all together. It was hard to write, because I felt like I lost myself. I was everywhere and nowhere. Although it seems like a lame attempt to justify my lack of effort on this blog, it’s been really difficult to write. It’s been a really difficult time.

But now, I’m free. And it’s a good night to release these lingering thoughts.

***

University is the worst roller coaster ride. Damn. I came in this school year with prime optimism and for the life of me, I do not know where it’s gone in the the middle of it all. My academic pursuit for the semester has been awry. More like average. And I hate it with every ounce of my braincells. Average is not my potential, and I refuse to be ‘just’ okay. I want to excel, and I want it so bad. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

I learned that I can write, but I can’t write great. And that hurts me for some reason. Not because I thought I was great, but because I’m struggling. I’m actually learning how to write, like a baby learning how to talk. It’s funny because I thought I was somehow beyond adequate. Damn.

Amidst the slight academic turmoil, I’m thankful that I survived. I mean, it might not be much but making it through the first semester with some sense of sanity left must count for something. I like that I didn’t give up when I thought it’s near hopeless. Being able to push when things are rough makes me feel a little better about myself. I just hope, I come through next semester.

***

I miss my family a lot. Especially, this holiday season. It’s a family affair after all. Although being away from them made me grow in some ways, I can’t wait until I can live under the same roof with them again.

Christmas is always tough being at a distance from your loved ones, but it sure does help when they send you to a holiday trip. But then again, it’s all about family at this time of year so it’s hard not to be a bit glum.

I’m happy though, that I’m able to spend the holidays going about Las Vegas and California. The amount of fun I’ve had so far is ridiculous. Not to mention, the New year’s eve I’ll be spending at Disneyland!

***

I’m beyond blessed. And I don’t deserve it.

But I’ll write about it.

Every single time.

🙂

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A Holiday Redemption

Coming from a bad pity party at the night of Christmas eve left a bitter taste in my holiday spirits. I woke up with a heartbroken hangover and found myself in the same spot where I left off, down in the dumps.

But sobriety comes when you get up from bed. And this one was started by a phone call.

My relatives uncs and aunts gave me a ring  that willed me out of bed. They were all jazzed up as they each greeted me a ‘Merry Christmas’; passing the phone like it’s hot, I really felt their sincere affections. 🙂

The NBA came out with a BAAANNGG today! The five game slate they laid out for Christmas day didn’t fail to deliver ecstatic entertainment for everyone that made the good list. (Y)

We threw a heck of a party for the whole clan to chill with. This time the food was the taste gratifying redemption. As sweet as. Also I got a few presents from kind-hearted folks that I never expected.

Also, we drank some whiskey.. That was bad. And that’s how it ended.

I guess this just goes to show that every cloud has a silver lining.

PS- I wasn’t tanked. How else would I have been able to write this post. Defensive argument is almost a reflex. 😛

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Do You Want It all By Two Door Cinema Club

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When I Ate Some Of Santa’s Cookies..

I just posted a pleasant picture of a Christmas tree; lights of sheer vibrancy polarized and scintillating colors of red, green and gold; perched amidst pebbles of presents, coming in all shapes and sizes. A portrait of a very Merry Christmas.

But I see it in black and white.

I have been separated from my family for almost 2 whole months now. And at this time of season where happiness is ought to be in abundance; I least expected a hint of vulnerability. Yet my emotions sunk deep. I miss them.

I spent the first few hours of post-Christmas- eve partaking in a sweeping sumptuous supper but savoring  so, so little. I sat on the couch as I look at presents fly over me from each end of the room. ‘Sound Of Music’ was on TV but I heard only funk, blue funk. Midnight struck and nobody noticed. I greeted them a warm ‘Merry Christmas’..

I bawled.

And it sucks.

Because it’s Christmas..

And I’m supposed to be with my family. 

😐

At least there’s the true reason for the season to comfort my weary self. 🙂

Next year shall be sweeter. Merry Christmas again.

PS- The title is true.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Goodnight by William Fitzsimmons

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All Of The Christmas Lights

Here’s your midnight companion greeting you a Merry Christmas!

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Look Ma..

jesus_of_nazareth_by_lueb_art-d3jxckg

Hugh Laurie anyone? :p

So I was watching my nephew’s school play for Christmas last night and I happened to be seated next to this big ball of charm, boxed in a miniature frame, laced with pure innocence; a little girl. And she said,

.. Look, mom.

(Bearded man walks onto the stage with a woman expectant of a child)

(She points at the man with the glorious, most artificial beard)

… Is that Jesus???

We all laughed.

It was cute. Until my grandma took a wise crack to it.

…. Look, it’s Saint Peter.

Good grieving graciousness. *slaps forehead*

I know no one has seen Jesus and I know no one who wants to, yet. But we can never recreate the image of Christ. Frankly, I’m not certainly sure where people got the absurd notion that God had the fairest skin, a hippy crown of hair and a renowned trademark beard.

For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out from dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him and no beauty that we should desire him. -Isaiah 53:2

I have a silly theory that Jesus meant for us not to see any of his facial features. And the reason is profoundly cliche –He wants us to believe by faith and not by sight.

It’s not about what He looks like but what He did to atone for our shameful sins.

And the rugged mystery item is.. Joseph.

😐

Happy almost Christmas. 🙂

P.S. I’m Christian. Yo.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: The Perfection Of Beauty by Shai Linne featuring Blair Linne

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