“The Fault Of Being Young”

A boy and girl affair, this does not end well.

Youth is abundant with love and folly. Juvenile hearts are driven by strong emtotions that seem to override all boundaries of logic. Vernal desires are fueled by curiosity and adventure; a sense of boldness that require little to no thought. Young love is full of hope. It dreams and pursues. But reality is no child’s play.

A friend fell in love at a tender age. He met this girl during a trip across miles and seas. They bonded through many conversations online, spending late nights to compensate for differing timezones. Their emotions grew despite the distance and time, and soon, a relationship bloomed. They stuck it together for many months, even years. It wasn’t always ideal. And with the kind of long distance relationship, they knew being apart is a given.

And it was over…

They were persistent through it all. And finally the universe reckoned it was time for them to be together. He took a flight to be with her at last. For the first time they were able to conquer all the things that separated them. They danced and held hands; they kissed and whispered words to each other; they were a couple, an actual pair for once.

And then it was over..

They went back to their normal lives, but it wasn’t the same anymore. She missed him and he couldn’t be there for her. They tried to continue what they have been doing for so long. But life started to happen for her. She went out and he waited in worry. He took after a certain tone, and she didn’t have it. They spoke until no words are spoken.

And then it was over.

To realize in the end that they were young is wise, but rather too late. The inability to contemplate the many opportunities that lie ahead, various people to meet and places to see and be; all this could have saved both my friends from the troubles of the heart. They could have had it all, everything and each other. If only it wasn’t for the fault of being young.

Sigh.

***

PS: I envied you guys. I really did. I was rooting for you to go all the way, so you can prove to me that love pays no attention to distance and time. I’m sorry that it all had to end this way. I wish you both the best, whatever pursuit it is in life.

SOTM: Youth by Daughter

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Debts

Blessed.

I’m tremendously thankful for many things, from the simple to the finer means. Most of the time I find it wayward mental to think that I am where I stand. I don’t deserve anything.

And it’s not a matter exaggeration, it is an understatement.

Really, I do not work. My pleasures are funded by my parents; they put the food on the table, more than we can eat; they pay for my education so I would not worry about any future debt. On top of that, I have an uncle who spoils me like little kid. I don’t even have to ask, I just have to utter them. And I’m grateful beyond anything.

It’s hard to repay something that can’t be counted in currency.

Through it all, it’s about the clothes and the shoes they bought me. It’s not about where I had lunch or what movie I saw at the expense of their pockets. They don’t keep tabs of fiscal value. They expect no payment. Although acts of gratitude can be a start.

I’m afraid I’m not grateful enough. I lack the action to give back the charity I am given. But it is not to say, I am completely ungrateful. I appreciate my blessings like a child to its mum. It’s only because I stop to “thank you”, like these words are enough to show all gratitude. And I am wrong.

I owe these people a debt, I cannot begin to pay. But it never hurts to try.

And to the Man who bought me at the price of his own life, I owe a greater deal. Although I forget that your grace is costly, I will never forget that all has been paid. Blessings and struggles are from you, all the same. But I will be thankful and write about it

.

SOTM: Loud Noises by Yuna

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Prodigal Sun

Here it is.

Still unready and unripe for the sun, but here nonetheless.

It’s summer and I have missed writing here. Although, I know it took me a while to find myself back. I’m happy to get away from all the words. Because writing meant I had to make sense of things. Blogging demanded a sort of explanation as to why and how, matters that seemed to elude me. So I stayed away from this medium of expression because I wanted to get lost.

Yes. Lost.

We are all lost by default. Although it is an odd desire to be in a state of indirection, I am afraid this is where I find myself right now. But for what it’s worth, this sense of wandering feels so right. It’s almost as if the lack of purpose gives way for countless possibilities. And the loss of destination seem to open more roads. I feel free.

Not all those who wander are lost, they say.

Summer is the best time to get lost. And hopefulIy, I find myself where the road meets the sun when it all ends.

Indirection not misdirection.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Forever by Haim

Tagged , , , , ,

School Bag

I survived my first year of university. And that’s not too shabby at all.

It was hard. Like bricks and rocks and steel and challenge.

Last year, I wrote about university with a certain sense of vigor and naivete, but my recent experience have completely altered my perception of post secondary education. This sphere of academia is so much more than mere technical knowledge. It shows you the person that you are, and could be.

I’m not the one to lie, I struggled the whole time this school year. Every paper and exam took a toll on me. But for whatever struggle I’ve gone through, I’m glad to claim that I have truly ‘learned’. I learned not only by the book, but through experience.

There might have been times in which I’ve thought I can’t do any better, that my effort is at its best and is just not enough. I even found myself at the brink of a meltdown towards the end. But all that is behind me now, at the back of my mind like a school bag.

But now my load is lighter. And I’m packing up clothes and stories.

I’m homebound.

Tagged , , , , , ,

I Wear Blue

This is about a girl I’ve been meaning to write about..

She wears a red jacket. And her face blushes red from the cold wintry air. Nails are painted red, all chipped and fading. She was red in my eyes, and everything else that was red.

Red is a strong color. And it’s intimidating and distracting.

Like a laser and a feline.

And I’m a goddam scaredy cat.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Book Club by Arkells

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Passion Fruit

This one is about passion.

What is your passion?

Because you can pretty much like anything, and you can do whatever it is that you like until you don’t like it anymore. But passion, that’s something that traverses over one’s superficial preference. It’s a calling.

Circumstances vary like the weather. It could be sunny and it could pour. But whatever the weather, passion remains the same. Passion doesn’t stop when the air is thin and the way up is foggy, it treads on. It’s a reason.

What you love the most could be what could hurt you the most, but it’s also what could love you the most. Passion is a cycle, one that feeds off of itself. It’s a source of worth. A life and death. It’s a purpose.

But passion doesn’t come looking for you. You have to look for it. And it can hide in so many places that you might not even guess. Passion is elusive. But then again no treasure were never buried.

Writing is my passion. And it scares me because it’s the only thing in the world I know that I want to do. No plan B. I can’t think of anything else I can do for a living that would give me the utmost satisfaction. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

It’s funny. I only know because I don’t know.

Maybe, passion is a paradox…

But for the sake of it

Let me write every word with passion.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Gracious

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Failing Harder

Fail harder.

I saw this little adage above awhile back, and for some reason it just stuck to me. Maybe because I found it a little bit too pretentious. Like, seriously? Fail? Harder?

I couldn’t have failed any harder today. I got a godforsaken F in yet another English essay. And you’re telling me to fail harder? I got a D after I got a C, and now an F after that D. So i have been failing harder. Now what?!

Sorry, I didn’t mean to take you literal. I just don’t understand where you can possibly pull that ridiculous wanna-be-inspiring phrase from. Did you actually fail so hard you couldn’t even care anymore? Because I have, and it’s worse than being overtly upset.

You see, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if the act of learning didn’t come at the cost of time, money and effort. But in the academic world, it actually does. So I can’t comprehend what you desire to mean by ‘fail harder’. See, if you prefer to view it in an analogy; it will be like getting sucker punched in the gut and asking for seconds. For what?! So you can ascertain your poor excuse of abdominal strength? Please.

I hate failing.

But I don’t hate it as much as before it finally blows up in my face.

But thank you for opening my eyes to the lies I’ve been feeding myself. To say that I didn’t do my best is false because I have done my best, but only at the last minute. On those final moment where all you can do is lay your heart out. But in terms of putting in a 100% throughout the whole process. No. I haven’t. I only sprint hard at the last leg of a marathon and when I don’t finish, I justify my effort by that last dash of desperation.

No one needs to fail harder. Failure in any form or degree, is all the same.

And it hurts.

But you move on..

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Howe Sounds by Said The Whale

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Kiddo

A kid is an epitome of humanity.

It’s true. Kids are raw, blunt and unrestricted. They are not bound by responsibility but they require much care. Their sheer honesty is brutal and their thoughts unfiltered.They can hurt you severely, but they can love you completely.

They contain both good and bad. They go up and down. They never walk, they always run. Never sit still, but always buzzing around. They cry when they’re hurt and laugh so loud, they run out air.

The sense to make sense is nonsensical to a little one, but what really makes sense is nonsense. Because nonsense is really not complicated. And they like it.

People grow up. But to say we’re not like kids is childish.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Penelope Judd by Shai Linne feat. Epiphany Kidz

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Letting Loose

Rest for the weary.

Warm beds. Video games. Good food. Basketball. TV. Major zone out.

And it feels so good.

Last week was an all out academic grind. Writing exams and papers all due on the same date. It was exhausting. A two time all-nighter was the hay-maker. I was completely out of it with my mind all over the place. But i managed to crawl out of that week alive. Thank God, thank God.

Having the whole week off is just a blessing. And I used the word ‘blessing’ instead of any other just to point out the its sheer significance. My mind and body was battered. And now to rest, and be relaxed. Damn, it’s a blessing for sure.

Because sometimes you just need to recuperate. Catch your breath then dive right back in..

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Earl Grey Tea by Rizzle Kicks

Tagged , , , ,

Engineers

I was talking with a friend who is studying to be an engineer. He’s good with numbers and figures. Systematic in nature, and technical in skill. He asks me about my writing? In which I said, I hate it.

***

To hell with writing.

I can’t find the words to express my frustration, but life is being a thorough bitch lately. Pardon my rudeness. It’s just that there is no word fit enough to convey the weight of frustration I feel.

Notice I said that it’s life that’s the problem, but really it’s my goddam writing. Because Life and writing, they’re both the same. At this point in my life, it’s starting to mean almost synonymously. Because this is want I want to do, this is what I want to do..

But is it really about what we want to do, or how good we do something?

Because, I’m tired of all these arrow-like critiques raining down on my morale. It’s exhausting. And I’m exhausted. The process is cruel. No pity for the young and inexperience.They say you learn from your mistakes, but no. You learn that it’s a mistake. The solution though, doesn’t come readily with learning the mistake. You work on it. You take a guess..

And then another mistake.

Literature is a godforsaken blessing at the same note, a goddam curse. Deciphering the meaning in between the lines is like, groping in the dark. Reading cover to cover is a pill that knocks you out. These literary art forms require good eyes, and sharp minds. But damn, I might as well close my eyes and shut my cranium down. Literature is a waste of time.

But this is where I want to be, in the middle of words.

Damn it.

***

Why can’t I be an engineer?

I’m starting to think that numbers make more sense than words.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: —

Tagged , , , , ,
NBA.com | Hang Time Blog

The official news blog of NBA.com with commentary and analysis from NBA.com's staff of writers.

Hi, I'm Awkward

A collection of random and awesomely awkward things to enjoy...

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

00:00

An insomniac's midnight musings.

Little Wolf

Art Blog of Maryanna Hoggatt

Draw the Blinds

Creative Writing- Melbourne

sethsnap

Photographs from my world.

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

OneDay At ATimeMan

1 Twenty Four for The Next Three Sixty Four

Honest Toddler

juice, crackers. tv.

Independent Ethos

Handmade with vinyl and celluloid

SQUEEZING CREATIVITY

--A Weekly Chronicle Series

I Broke My Glasses Again

Taking the Hobbits to Isenguard

Pretty Feet, Pop Toe

It's just my point of view. Love it or hate it.