Category Archives: Life

Running In Place // (About A ‘Disclosure’)

I have never really been the one to learn the hard way, and it’s not because I refuse to take risks.

No.

This is not about being bold, it’s about sheer blindness.

I wrote this awhile back…

What if I tell you that I don’t have any plans; that I only intend to work hard?

 

Will I still make it then?

I wrote this under the complete notion that if I work hard enough I would be able to attain anything– glory and success. I thought that it didn’t matter what I did as long as I put my heart and soul into it. After all, it is contemporary belief that hard work is the main catalyst to every success story. I was led to believe that what counts the most is your work ethic.  And all of these are true.

But the answer is NO.

The lack of goal setting have only rendered me utterly depleted. It’s like running for miles on a treadmill- not going anywhere. All the time and effort I had invested were almost all for nothing. It seems as if the idea of indirection proved to be more fatal than the act of misdirection. And I have only myself to blame.

Make plans and determine your goals. It’s the only way to make hard work count.

SOTM: Bourgeois by Phoenix

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Published

I’ve written countless words in my young lifetime. And sometimes I wonder if it all mattered. I mean if a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

I can’t begin to answer such a heavy question. But I believe all this behind-the-scene writing have helped me improve my skill with words. Scribbling behind the shadows, in this quiet side of the Internet, have rendered my backbone enough boldness to stand and knock at the world’s door.

And the world opened its door on me, even just for a brief moment. It gave me a quick glimpse, enough to validate my existence as a writer. It gave me a quick glance what of I could be in this industry. But more so, it made me realize my flaws and uncharacteristic literary habits. It showed me the long road ahead.

I was published.

I was beyond elated. And if I never write a single word again, I can look back and still claim that I was a writer. But I’d like to think that I’ve been this, without any need of publication- I am a writer.

Even if this little accomplishment was made possible by a local community newspaper. This is a start, and I’m on my way now. And even when it gets rough along the way, I will remember that it’s the process that is most fun. The destination is merely a consolation, but I’m aiming for the clouds still.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Brighter Side / Twilight by Ben Howard

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All that I have been doing in my life has lead me to this…

I am an artist.

I can make things. And that’s quite powerful in its own regard.

I used to think that I was just an aspiring writer, I had the simple ability to piece together words to derive meaning. I thought I was just a casual photographer that loved urban cityscape and subtle portraits. I never heard the power of my own spoken word, the influence it holds in a single breath.

Then I came to the realization that…

I am an artist.

I choose my words meticulously, like I choose my friends; I use metaphors and methods to extend the meaning of my musings. I write with sheer purpose and passion like it’s a calling. And my words slash and heal, even though I’m in practice of wielding it.

I have keen eye for design. I see structure and symmetry. My pictures are beyond pre-meal snapshots and shameless selfies. I am not bound by the the frame of the viewfinder, instead I break the rules to enhance images. Instagram has become more than just a gallery of everyday pictures but a reflection myself and my city.

I have started to learn the power of my voice and the power of it. I speak my words with flow and rhythm; emphasis and sheer confidence; control and clarity. My voice asks the critical questions and addresses the details. And I hear it even if you don’t.

I know I have lot more to go through in this artistic journey. But it all starts with this realization.

I am an artist.

SOTM: Never Let You Down by Kanye West feat. Jay Z and J. Ivy

 

Artist

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Chemistry: Z

I wrote this a little over a year ago.

https://dorksandjerks.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/x-and-y/

I love my friends to the moon and back. And last year, they both gave me a hard time because they were poles apart. They were a representation of two side. X and Y.

But this summer brought about a compound element between the two. And to this date I can’t determine which factor allowed to them cohabit without friction. I don’t know what changed. Maybe they finally saw what I’ve seen years ago, that they are both stark-raving-bonkers. Or maybe they realized that they share the same degree of madness.

Or that we are all in the same plateau in life.

Because really, we are all just trying to make sense out of everything. And it’s hard when you think about how alone you are in the struggle. Dubai is possessed by sheer sense of temporality. And that’s a hard burden to bear for kids. So in theory, I think the common denominator here is the underlying circumstance of being young and find one’s place in it.

But maybe there’s no real science behind it, and it all boils down to chemistry. Fumes and strong liquids. All I know, is and X and Y are in the same group now and I label them my best friends. I just wish I could’ve stuck around longer to see their reactions.

I miss them.

I miss chemistry.

Z.

SOTM: Sure Thing by Miguel

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A Disclosure

What if I tell you that I don’t have any plans; that I only intend to work hard?

 

Will I still make it then?

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Too Much by Drake feat. Sampha

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‘The City In The Desert’

Dubai.

You are one great city. And believe me when I tell you that there is nothing like you.

You’re the city in the desert; the breeze in the summer. You built concrete out of sand, and made a home for me. You were honest enough to tell me that I can’t stay forever, that there is a world out there that is waiting for me.

You have introduced me to people that I would have never met elsewhere. And you let them go in front of my eyes to show me that you claimed no citizens only transients- nothing is permanent.

Then you let me go. And I loved you for it.

Thank you for everything. I will write about you until next time.2013-08-15 13.38.00

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Tidal Waves by Kenji

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“The Fault Of Being Young”

A boy and girl affair, this does not end well.

Youth is abundant with love and folly. Juvenile hearts are driven by strong emtotions that seem to override all boundaries of logic. Vernal desires are fueled by curiosity and adventure; a sense of boldness that require little to no thought. Young love is full of hope. It dreams and pursues. But reality is no child’s play.

A friend fell in love at a tender age. He met this girl during a trip across miles and seas. They bonded through many conversations online, spending late nights to compensate for differing timezones. Their emotions grew despite the distance and time, and soon, a relationship bloomed. They stuck it together for many months, even years. It wasn’t always ideal. And with the kind of long distance relationship, they knew being apart is a given.

And it was over…

They were persistent through it all. And finally the universe reckoned it was time for them to be together. He took a flight to be with her at last. For the first time they were able to conquer all the things that separated them. They danced and held hands; they kissed and whispered words to each other; they were a couple, an actual pair for once.

And then it was over..

They went back to their normal lives, but it wasn’t the same anymore. She missed him and he couldn’t be there for her. They tried to continue what they have been doing for so long. But life started to happen for her. She went out and he waited in worry. He took after a certain tone, and she didn’t have it. They spoke until no words are spoken.

And then it was over.

To realize in the end that they were young is wise, but rather too late. The inability to contemplate the many opportunities that lie ahead, various people to meet and places to see and be; all this could have saved both my friends from the troubles of the heart. They could have had it all, everything and each other. If only it wasn’t for the fault of being young.

Sigh.

***

PS: I envied you guys. I really did. I was rooting for you to go all the way, so you can prove to me that love pays no attention to distance and time. I’m sorry that it all had to end this way. I wish you both the best, whatever pursuit it is in life.

SOTM: Youth by Daughter

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Debts

Blessed.

I’m tremendously thankful for many things, from the simple to the finer means. Most of the time I find it wayward mental to think that I am where I stand. I don’t deserve anything.

And it’s not a matter exaggeration, it is an understatement.

Really, I do not work. My pleasures are funded by my parents; they put the food on the table, more than we can eat; they pay for my education so I would not worry about any future debt. On top of that, I have an uncle who spoils me like little kid. I don’t even have to ask, I just have to utter them. And I’m grateful beyond anything.

It’s hard to repay something that can’t be counted in currency.

Through it all, it’s about the clothes and the shoes they bought me. It’s not about where I had lunch or what movie I saw at the expense of their pockets. They don’t keep tabs of fiscal value. They expect no payment. Although acts of gratitude can be a start.

I’m afraid I’m not grateful enough. I lack the action to give back the charity I am given. But it is not to say, I am completely ungrateful. I appreciate my blessings like a child to its mum. It’s only because I stop to “thank you”, like these words are enough to show all gratitude. And I am wrong.

I owe these people a debt, I cannot begin to pay. But it never hurts to try.

And to the Man who bought me at the price of his own life, I owe a greater deal. Although I forget that your grace is costly, I will never forget that all has been paid. Blessings and struggles are from you, all the same. But I will be thankful and write about it

.

SOTM: Loud Noises by Yuna

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Prodigal Sun

Here it is.

Still unready and unripe for the sun, but here nonetheless.

It’s summer and I have missed writing here. Although, I know it took me a while to find myself back. I’m happy to get away from all the words. Because writing meant I had to make sense of things. Blogging demanded a sort of explanation as to why and how, matters that seemed to elude me. So I stayed away from this medium of expression because I wanted to get lost.

Yes. Lost.

We are all lost by default. Although it is an odd desire to be in a state of indirection, I am afraid this is where I find myself right now. But for what it’s worth, this sense of wandering feels so right. It’s almost as if the lack of purpose gives way for countless possibilities. And the loss of destination seem to open more roads. I feel free.

Not all those who wander are lost, they say.

Summer is the best time to get lost. And hopefulIy, I find myself where the road meets the sun when it all ends.

Indirection not misdirection.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Forever by Haim

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Passion Fruit

This one is about passion.

What is your passion?

Because you can pretty much like anything, and you can do whatever it is that you like until you don’t like it anymore. But passion, that’s something that traverses over one’s superficial preference. It’s a calling.

Circumstances vary like the weather. It could be sunny and it could pour. But whatever the weather, passion remains the same. Passion doesn’t stop when the air is thin and the way up is foggy, it treads on. It’s a reason.

What you love the most could be what could hurt you the most, but it’s also what could love you the most. Passion is a cycle, one that feeds off of itself. It’s a source of worth. A life and death. It’s a purpose.

But passion doesn’t come looking for you. You have to look for it. And it can hide in so many places that you might not even guess. Passion is elusive. But then again no treasure were never buried.

Writing is my passion. And it scares me because it’s the only thing in the world I know that I want to do. No plan B. I can’t think of anything else I can do for a living that would give me the utmost satisfaction. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

It’s funny. I only know because I don’t know.

Maybe, passion is a paradox…

But for the sake of it

Let me write every word with passion.

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Gracious

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