Failing Harder


Fail harder.

I saw this little adage above awhile back, and for some reason it just stuck to me. Maybe because I found it a little bit too pretentious. Like, seriously? Fail? Harder?

I couldn’t have failed any harder today. I got a godforsaken F in yet another English essay. And you’re telling me to fail harder? I got a D after I got a C, and now an F after that D. So i have been failing harder. Now what?!

Sorry, I didn’t mean to take you literal. I just don’t understand where you can possibly pull that ridiculous wanna-be-inspiring phrase from. Did you actually fail so hard you couldn’t even care anymore? Because I have, and it’s worse than being overtly upset.

You see, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if the act of learning didn’t come at the cost of time, money and effort. But in the academic world, it actually does. So I can’t comprehend what you desire to mean by ‘fail harder’. See, if you prefer to view it in an analogy; it will be like getting sucker punched in the gut and asking for seconds. For what?! So you can ascertain your poor excuse of abdominal strength? Please.

I hate failing.

But I don’t hate it as much as before it finally blows up in my face.

But thank you for opening my eyes to the lies I’ve been feeding myself. To say that I didn’t do my best is false because I have done my best, but only at the last minute. On those final moment where all you can do is lay your heart out. But in terms of putting in a 100% throughout the whole process. No. I haven’t. I only sprint hard at the last leg of a marathon and when I don’t finish, I justify my effort by that last dash of desperation.

No one needs to fail harder. Failure in any form or degree, is all the same.

And it hurts.

But you move on..

SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Howe Sounds by Said The Whale

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