Emotions cannot fully traverse across virtual ends. And in hopeless circumstance, we use emoticons to convey the least bit of what we truly feel.
I put together a smile with a colon and right bracjet. And from there, we start a conversation; talk about how your day was. We smile at each other’s reply, just to keep it civil. Not that we’re interested but because one of us just want to acknowledge the other -when we really don’t, because we can’t.
We joke around. State the silly affairs we made throughout day; desperate to get a genuine laugh on the other end. Although the mood reeks of utter
awkwardness. We stay on..
We key in an empty laugh. Almost like we’re delirious. Because as much as we try to be genuine, the method won’t allow it. We don’t guffaw at the humorous statements, but at ourselves. For we are..
Baffled. We are in an unprecedented state of confusion where what is virtual seem as reality. But it feels potent, like the backbone of every relationship. But much more feeble as it drags through distance and time.
But we wink at ourselves to assert the situation. But little did we know that our one eye is completely aware of such social network predicament while the other is shut tight, refusing to see the truth..
Until we start to raise a brow on the temper of our statements. And we see the sheer dullness of our naive friendship.
So we ask more questions, or at least we try to. But none us can answer, because we don’t really know who is on the other end of the line. Surely we don’t want to share the private matters of our heart with an online stranger. So instead, we answer our own questions..
x _ x
Can’t watch to see the consequences of innocent internet intimacy; thorough disbelief on the friendship between two strangers. Because we can’t afford to look away from the time, thought and emotion we invested.
Saddened by the facts of our online dilemma. I grieve for your emotions, whether you had them or not. And most of all I mourn for mine. Because after all this LDR torment, I sit here tapping on my letters
So I stop talking to you. Because I want to detach from it all, you. Because every word you type punctuates
hope in me..
A day will come when I won’t be embarrassed by what I feel. Because I want you to be real. But until then, I’ll enter in a smile from time to time; make you think everything is alright.
SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Please Don’t by Leo Stannard