I wanted to lose my phone…
Because it’s an outdated BlackBerry Curve that is 3 seconds late in its every function; making it incredibly annoying to check messages and whatever facilities this wretched phone has to offer. Also, the battery has been worn out to the point that it acts like a fuel leakage, power draining faster than you can say “I just pulled it out from the charger, I even kept it in overnight. Goddam!” A deliberate desire to misplace my pathetic excuse for a cellular device in another reason to get myself a new one. Preferably, it’s much younger sister; sexy, sleek and sexy, the new BlackBerry Bold.
You know when they say. “if you want it bad enough, it will happen”? Well, it’s a cosmic anomaly that such statement may be true. I was out today buying people presents for when I get home and all when my phone shuts down. Right at the time when I needed it the most; taking pictures of store items sneakily, as if attempting to send images to a Chinese warehouse where new piracy is born; talking to folks and asking them what they want but instinctively thinking of just getting them a hometown hockey tee. After charging it for an entire 8 hours, it decides to go to sleep in less than hour’s usage. Screw this phone. I stood there wishing it got lost; playing with it as if to smash it on the floor. Goddam. I didn’t care if I had lost it.
But I really cared.
I finally lost the godforsaken thing. 😐
I didn’t want to lose my phone…
Because I would definitely get a glorious oral lambasting from my folks on how irresponsible and careless I am. Also, everything in that phone is 0.005% sentimental. But sentimental nonetheless. After all, I got all my fully clothed pictures in there. (Literally) That phone also stored confidential codes that could lead to identity theft and bankruptcy.
I remember how I wanted to lose it so bad. At the same time it feeling doubly worse. Sometime we don’t think. I usually don’t. Which sucks badly for me. Because I don’t care enough. And those are just material things, what if it was a live and beating heart?
But I found it. Just right now. Dead in the night; lounging in one of the shopping bags I carried all day. Guess my uncle was right, I’m a cat with nine lives with this phone. But not all things that are lost can ever be found again..
I stole. Yes, I am a sly thief with devilish courage to nab a pair of shoelaces. Daredevil, I am. For such account of thievery, I am to be considered a criminal. But don’t think I take this lightly because I don’t.
I remember when I first stole a piece of gum. It was packed in a can with a dozen of paper wrapped, fruit-flavored chewy goodness. I stared at it and imagined how it would tickle my taste buds. I craved for it. But I was broke. And when you’re 8 years old and unemployed, you get desperate. And desperation paves way for criminals. I stole the a singe piece of gum. And I spat it out the minute it came in between my teeth. Not that it was disgusting. But I was..
And here I am, stealing shoelaces. I know it’s a long shot for kleptomania but it doesn’t make it right. Because sometimes we like things only because we want them.
I’m disappointed with myself.
Very stupid. So naive.
Did I say I’m thinking about getting a girlfriend?
SONGOFTHEMOMENT: Heartlines by Florence And The Machine